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anythingdrabbleTitle: Friction
Dear Employees,
We listened to your concerns re. the health and safety hazards caused by the less than standard amount of friction in rooms affected by the motion gel experiments, particularly the lack of platforms and handrails or, indeed, any surface not coated with the substance. We would like to reassure you all that the rafters of the ceiling work fine as a hand rail as long as you get enough forward momentum and get the angle right and don't fall into the spike pit. By the way, the rumours about the substance causing spontaneous combustion in the lab rats have been resurfacing. This is completely untrue. It wasn't rats, it was monkeys, and monkeys aren't THAT genetically similar to humans, and we don't know for certain that the two were even related. Anyway, enough of this gloomy topic! We would like to announce the opening of a new project here at Aperture Science, specifically for people still bent on moving out of the motion gel experiments. As requested, there are absolutely no frictionless substances involved and a special range of extra abrasive surfaces to test! Please note that the surface resembling sandpaper is still, despite our best efforts, flammable.
Fandom: Portal 2
Characters/pairings: Cave Johnson
Word count: 200
Rating: PG-13/Gen
Summary: Dear Employees, we listened to your concerns and addressed them...
Note: first person POV, letter format
Dear Employees,
We listened to your concerns re. the health and safety hazards caused by the less than standard amount of friction in rooms affected by the motion gel experiments, particularly the lack of platforms and handrails or, indeed, any surface not coated with the substance. We would like to reassure you all that the rafters of the ceiling work fine as a hand rail as long as you get enough forward momentum and get the angle right and don't fall into the spike pit. By the way, the rumours about the substance causing spontaneous combustion in the lab rats have been resurfacing. This is completely untrue. It wasn't rats, it was monkeys, and monkeys aren't THAT genetically similar to humans, and we don't know for certain that the two were even related. Anyway, enough of this gloomy topic! We would like to announce the opening of a new project here at Aperture Science, specifically for people still bent on moving out of the motion gel experiments. As requested, there are absolutely no frictionless substances involved and a special range of extra abrasive surfaces to test! Please note that the surface resembling sandpaper is still, despite our best efforts, flammable.
