apachefirecat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
apachefirecat) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
anythingdrabble2025-06-18 10:12 pm
apachefirecat) wrote in anythingdrabble2025-06-18 10:12 pm
Entry tags:
394: Row - X-Men - Shadowcat - Still Standing
Title: Still Standing
Fandom: X-Men
Characters/Pairings: Kitty, mentions Wisdom/Pryde
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: She's still standing, for better or worse.
She stands at the window, looking out as the children file closer to the dojo. She never wanted to be like this, never wanted to be in charge again or even in a teaching position. She's served her time, more so even. She's served the cause loyally since the very tender age of fourteen. Kitty scoffs as she thinks back to that girl, who had been so arrogant at such an early age.
Too much of her pain, she knows, has been caused by her own foolish mistakes. She's lost lovers and friends, lost entire missions. She's lost herself. She likes to blame it on the X-Men, yes, and all she did as one, but the truth is no one forced her to kill those humans. No one forced her to become what she'd managed to keep from being for decades. She'd fought wars before. She was an old, sage, and skilled warrior. She was used to bloodshed, and used to finding ways to avoid spilling more from her own hands.
But she stopped trying. She stopped fighting her own Demons, stopped fighting the same battles she'd been fighting since she was fourteen and Ojun first took over her. If she'd had Wolverine, had Storm even, or the Professor, maybe she could have fought harder. Maybe she could have won. But instead she'd picked up the blades and became the killer Ojun had always wanted her to be, became the killer her true Sensei was, the killer he'd never wanted her to be and she'd always sworn she'd never become.
Witnessing a fog rising over the streets of Chicago, which once comforted her, she is taken back again to a better time, an easier time. She had thought she'd lost her whole world the first time she'd believed the X-Men were dead. But Scotland had perhaps been exactly what she'd needed back then to steer away from leadership and the darkness that had always been present within her.
For a while, on those Scottish moors, she'd actually felt younger than she can remember being since before she joined the X-Men. She had been the youngest of the group, and had been recognized and guided as such, and she supposes now she can admit that it was nice in its own way.
But now she's been thrust back into a leadership role, back into being in charge of lives that, at least this time, are younger than hers. Lives for which she does not want to be responsible. She's alone in guiding them. Emma's here, but she can't trust her.
She's alone again, without Wolverine, without Ororo, without even her dragon. Her shoulders feel heavy without his comforting presence. She realizes suddenly that she is crying for the last time she stood looking out through a window with tears pouring, he had been there. She does miss Scotland, she supposes, even with those awful rows with Wisdom, but this is where she is, for now, and this is where she'll stand.
The End
Fandom: X-Men
Characters/Pairings: Kitty, mentions Wisdom/Pryde
Word Count: 500
Rating: PG-13/T
Summary: She's still standing, for better or worse.
She stands at the window, looking out as the children file closer to the dojo. She never wanted to be like this, never wanted to be in charge again or even in a teaching position. She's served her time, more so even. She's served the cause loyally since the very tender age of fourteen. Kitty scoffs as she thinks back to that girl, who had been so arrogant at such an early age.
Too much of her pain, she knows, has been caused by her own foolish mistakes. She's lost lovers and friends, lost entire missions. She's lost herself. She likes to blame it on the X-Men, yes, and all she did as one, but the truth is no one forced her to kill those humans. No one forced her to become what she'd managed to keep from being for decades. She'd fought wars before. She was an old, sage, and skilled warrior. She was used to bloodshed, and used to finding ways to avoid spilling more from her own hands.
But she stopped trying. She stopped fighting her own Demons, stopped fighting the same battles she'd been fighting since she was fourteen and Ojun first took over her. If she'd had Wolverine, had Storm even, or the Professor, maybe she could have fought harder. Maybe she could have won. But instead she'd picked up the blades and became the killer Ojun had always wanted her to be, became the killer her true Sensei was, the killer he'd never wanted her to be and she'd always sworn she'd never become.
Witnessing a fog rising over the streets of Chicago, which once comforted her, she is taken back again to a better time, an easier time. She had thought she'd lost her whole world the first time she'd believed the X-Men were dead. But Scotland had perhaps been exactly what she'd needed back then to steer away from leadership and the darkness that had always been present within her.
For a while, on those Scottish moors, she'd actually felt younger than she can remember being since before she joined the X-Men. She had been the youngest of the group, and had been recognized and guided as such, and she supposes now she can admit that it was nice in its own way.
But now she's been thrust back into a leadership role, back into being in charge of lives that, at least this time, are younger than hers. Lives for which she does not want to be responsible. She's alone in guiding them. Emma's here, but she can't trust her.
She's alone again, without Wolverine, without Ororo, without even her dragon. Her shoulders feel heavy without his comforting presence. She realizes suddenly that she is crying for the last time she stood looking out through a window with tears pouring, he had been there. She does miss Scotland, she supposes, even with those awful rows with Wisdom, but this is where she is, for now, and this is where she'll stand.
The End